Is Anyone Else Ambivalent About Having Children?
I know this is a delicate question since so many women are struggling with infertility. I'm certainly not trying to diminish or undermine the pain and difficulty that goes along with that.
I'm 33, been married for 5 years, and I just don't feel that draw. On top of the weight, depression, facial hair, it just makes me feel like something is irretrievably broken.
For many years I was not treating my PCOS and actually felt ambivalence about having kids or being around them. I had a friend that would stop everything at stores to talk to babies. It was so absurd to me to even acknowledge children at all. There was nothing cute about them to me.
Once I started birth control and my periods became regular I actually found kids to be cute. I’m not entirely interested in having a child but they are almost as cute to me as cats always have been. Definitely a hormonal thing!
Also - no disrespect to women that are seeking fertility advice - but every gynecologist I have seen wants to exclusively discuss fertility plans with me. It’s so frustrating because I am so tired/depressed/anxious and I really want them to focus on treating me as I am today.
Thank you for sharing. I often think of how hormones effect interest in children. Hormones really effect a person’s interests and personality!
I feel like the ambivalence, for me, is A. denial - if I don't want kids, I don't have to grieve not having them... (it's not conscious that I think that), B. my PCOS symptoms, especially the fatigue, are so bad that I can't image being a good parent... I also feel broken. And when I really do allow myself to feel the pull of wanting kids, I'm devastated by the pain I feel. :-/
My obgyn had me on clomid for a year and I wasn't able to get pregnant. She then referred me to a fertility clinic, but that's way out of my price range.
I do! I know I'm not infertile. But I do have extremely irregular periods and I was told at a young age I would never have kids. For years, I tried accepting it and finally did. But recently, my new gyno told me he could easily get me pregnant by giving me clomid or some other type of drug to induce ovulation. But...idk if I want to. I'm scared because apparently we get a higher chance of miscarriages than women who don't have PCOS. I want kids so badly, but I'm just not sure about getting pregnant. I feel like I'm broken too, so you're not alone. It doesn't seem worth it to try
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