I'm just glad we can be here for you. It's so difficult and I echo a lot of your feelings about low self esteem and negativity. What changed everything for me was joining the wrapping community. They tell me all the time that I'm beautiful and inspirational and in giving a lot of that love right back, I've found a pathway to being comfortable with myself. Obviously everyone can't join that sort of community but it does go to show how important a positive support network is for your mental health.

Most of my depression now happens when I am feeling "ill" and I get miserable about the pain.

As for your skin, you may find that the diet helps. I can't believe how much mine has cleared up since I changed to the gluten free, dairy free, low GI clean eating. Seriously, I had lumps and redness all over my arms with aggravated KP. In the last week or so it has smoothed out and doesn't look so angry any more. I genuinely hadn't realised how much of it was low level inflammation rather than acne. Stick with what you're doing and it will balance out.

We're here for you.

I found that the Spironolactone balanced out my moods significantly. Within a few days off coming off it I get suicidal ideation. On it, I'm fairly balanced. I think your doctor could be doing more to help you. Maybe find another doctor with a better understanding of the illness that would consider reviewing medication and providing a referral?

@A myPCOSteam Member Thank you for such insight. I have cut down everything. I have lost 5 lbs in 2 weeks doesn't seem like a lot but its better than nothing. My husband and I have decided to give a clinic a trial. The PCOS one in Jacksonville, FL sounds the most appealing to me but I have to look into Mayo and Cleveland still. I am going to try and beat this. What hurts the most is my ability of reliability of y energy. Some days I am shot down and some days I am ok all day then at night my coughing acts up again and my shortness of breath. I have made an appointment with a therapist for Monday and an Endocrinologist for Friday. This week I have gone to the doctor every single day! Its nerve wrecking but Next week so far I dint have any appointments lined up.

@A myPCOSteam Member Thank you again as well. Your support does help me!

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& the above answer also goes with the low self-esteem thing...

On one side of my family (the self medicating side) you're only allowed to display 2 emotions... Either REALLY HAPPY/MAD...

Any other emotion, and anyone including/especially your family will "kick you while you're down."

Add to that being in a bullying town (not just your peers, but adults, Including teachers)...

I've just in the past 5-10 years learned to accept that their words/behaviors are on them, NOT ME.

I've decided that if it's something I CAN change, then I WILL worry about/change that...

If NOT? I WON'T...

IT WILL BE difficult to change that thought process/behavior, but I CAN tell you, it IS possible...

@A myPCOSteam Member, trust me, I know how hard it can be with friends/family who don't understand (or even WANT TO understand) everything that PCOS affects in our life...

While advising you to not cut them all out of your life (would be nice in a few cases, right?), don't pay attention to their negativity...

Do what's right for you... Diet, excercise, medical, mental, & spirituality...

If they give you a hard time, tell them (calmly) that this is something that you have chosen to do, with an appropriate explanation...

If they don't get the hint (& if it's possible), tell them that you need to "get going" (for some reason), but it was nice seeing them...

& Leave...
Even if it's just to mingle to another small group of people to visit with...

Your friend's/family negativity (even if it's not a HUGE thing) does affect your mental health/depression...

Because, if you're like me, even a small comment can be "the straw that broke the camel's back." & Then you/I focus on it.

So, do your best to minimize them, & know you're doing what's right for YOU...

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